What is the jump and soak?
The internet is a wealth of unnecessary and often disturbing information, which we would probably be better off without – like, say, a glimpse into the sex lives of Mormon teenagers. As an ungodly adult, what Mormon teens do or don’t do in bed really doesn’t concern me, and frankly I would have been happy to keep it that way. Sadly, as an internet citizen, I now know a lot more about Mormon teen sex than I ever would have liked, thanks to a recent TikTok trend documenting the loopholes in virginity that these children of God would exploit. to appease their excitement without betraying. The strict chastity code of The Church of Latter-day Saints.
Apparently, this involves a combination of two quasi-sexual acts called “soaking” (who, yuck) and “jump-humping”. According to TikTok user @exmolex, soaking is the act of putting your penis in a vagina and just… letting it sit there. The logic, according to the TikToker, is that it doesn’t count as sex if there is “no pushing.” If, however, the complete lack of movement doesn’t quite get the job done, two teenage Mormon lovers might invite a third person to their bed to shake things up, literally. This third guest apparently jumps up and down on the bed to provide some movement in the ocean without the penetrating partner having to push, as apparently God is okay with premarital sex as long as there is no push?
In other words, in an attempt to avoid violating their vow of chastity, Mormon teens apparently do some of the kinkiest bullshit I’ve heard of. Look, I’m not sure if this is all real or just some elaborate TikTok prank that I fell in love with, but either way, I’m not here to be ashamed of. If you want to put your penis inside a willing partner’s vagina and let it “soak” while your third jumps on the bed like a small child at a slumber party, go for it. But to say that this creative little threesome “doesn’t count” as sex because there is no pushing is just plain wrong. In addition, it reinforces a heteronormative and binary conception of sex as strictly penetrating intercourse, penis in the vagina, which sex experts have discouraged for years in favor of a more fluid definition of sex that encompasses all bodies, genders. and forms of erotic touching, including sexual and social relations.
Now, none of this concerns Mormon teens of course, but rather the concept of virginity bullshit in general and the social and religious institutions that control it. If sexually repressed Mormon teens want to continue having these funky little threesomes, of course they have my full support. I just wish they would also know that pushing is good too, as literally any other consensual sex act is. Now if anyone needs me, I’m going to kindly start not thinking about Mormon teen sex life again.
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